I have a long and painful history with scorpion kicks. Olivier Giroud scored one against Crystal Palace on New Year’s Day 2017, and I watched it go in from …

There is a simple rule for any player who has already been booked and is arguing with the referee. Stop talking. Lucas Paqueta did not stop talking, and against …

Most footballers leave the sport the same way. A statement goes out, a farewell lap is arranged, a tribute video plays on the big screen, and then the player …

Football gives us plenty of moments built for outrage, and I have spent enough time this week writing about shin pads, ticket prices and managers under pressure to know …

Football careers rarely turn on a single sentence. Most decline slowly, through loss of form, injury, age, or simply a manager who prefers someone else. But every so often …

When Manchester United put pieces of Old Trafford turf on sale for £125 a cube this week, the reaction across the country was the same eye roll and the …

I have watched enough Palace matches over the years to remember when shin pads actually looked like they were protecting something, clumpy plastic slabs running most of the way …

Five games into a season rarely means anything definitive, and I know that as well as anyone who has watched Palace start slowly only to find their feet by …

I have been calling Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United and Tottenham “the Big Six” my entire adult life, and I think this is the season I finally …

Some football arguments have a correct answer buried somewhere inside the stats if you dig hard enough. This one does not, and I have come to genuinely enjoy that …